A child shouldn't be queried for what he has not been taught.
You may argue this, but read to the end.
I have being leaving my 1yr old boy with his siblings( the eldest is 13yrs) since he was 7months.
I started with just leaving him with them in the room, while i get to do stuffs online or attend to a client.
I moved to leaving him with them to get stuffs within my neighbourhood and gradually it grew to going to the market.
Then when he was 1yr +, I started leaving him with them to go for serminars and trainings.
It was a process, we learnt how to start taking care of a baby, the dos and don'ts, they can feed him, change his diaper, bath, wash his clothes, know when he is thirsty, put him to sleep, play with him and lots more.
But something happened one day, hmmm.
I went out as usual, then I came back and met a mess in my bathroom.
My baby pooed and the poo licked from the pampers and stained his clothes, my kids cleaned him and dressed him up, But there was a BUT.
The BUT was that they did know what to do to the poo on the clothes. They just left the clothes with poo and in the baby's bucket in my bathroom.
When I entered the bathroom, it was smelling, I called my kids and wanted to query them for not washing it up, then my eldest son said to me, mum you haven't taught us how to wash poo out of clothes.
Immediately he said, I went mute, apologised and asked them to excuse me that we would talk later.
Yes, I needed to excuse myself, so I don't model what is wrong.
Later in the evening, during our family time, it was discussed and practiced the next day.
It will interest you to know that;
👂Children are always willing to learn from your mistakes.
👂Children know when you are wrong, even though you don't admit it
👂Children will practice what they are taught if you allow them.
👂If you give a child a hint, he will give you a script.
👂Children are open to learning, you need to be able to teach what they can learn.
👂A child will always be a child expect the childish part to play out once in a while, they are not perfect.
Finally, don't query a child, you haven't taught and practiced with.
If you do, you will make the child angry, withdrawn and rebellious.
Never assume your child should know, before you query, search deep, ask questions.
But if you are too angry to do calm down, remember discipline is not an emergency.
Take it easy and it will be easy to handle.
I hope you get value.
Be Involved!
Be Home Sweet!
Photo: My mood when i excuse myself to unlearn and Relearn.
Abere Lorine
Children's Coach
Home Sweet Home Academy
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